I don’t know but sometimes I think I have a mental problem. Do you feel like that at times too? Like it’s getting all crazy and your moods are all over the place. Lately it seems like it’s happening more and more. Don’t tell me to go to the therapist or psychiatrist, I can’t afford it right now. So here I am self-diagnosing myself and feeling miserable. When it gets too bad, I find myself feeling the need to spiral back to old habits that I still detest. It’s my only solution, that’s what I think anyway. However I barely start down those old roads when I find myself back to myself. How? I ask myself? Will doing this make me who I want to be, where I want to go? I remind myself to be still, I’m human.
In times of trouble and difficulty, you forget. Forget that you’re liable to making mistakes and have stumbled in the past. Forget that you can change what you want to and you’re in control of. You forget your humanity and hold yourself to ridiculous standards. Forget how amazing and capable you are. You allow yourself to be held back by guilt, and fear and what everyone else says. Forget to hang to all the possibilities and cling on to the impossibilities.
Remind yourself that it’s not really the end.
Believe in the possibility of change and that things could get better.
Take a break.
Make a plan of how you can get from where you are to where you want to be.
Work on that plan.
Still you may find yourself back to zero, many times at that. And if you do find yourself turning back and walking down the road you came from, Be still, you’re Human.