I never thought we would be together. My friends knew this. I had told them there was no way I could date you. Yet here we are now, seven years later, and two kids between us. It is not that I liked you or did not like you at first. I was not feeling you as you were me. Now, I love you.
P said that you looked violent, and I laughed. She warned me to be careful. You might lay a hand on me, she said. Your height and build were a bit intimidating at first. She also said you did not look like a pure breed local and had me bursting out loud. It turned out she was right about the pure breed thing.
I put you off several times, always excuses. I have a test, I was busy, I need to study, I have a game, but you never tired.
When you first told me your name, I did not believe it. Which African parent names their child that? But I later learned it was a short nickname. That made more sense.
The first time you came to my place, and we just talked about everything.
I tried my best to let you know that there would be nothing further than that chat. You were traditional, and I thought we were never going to match. But the talk lasted for two hours just discussing our views about children, culture, education and the joys of life. It gave me a sense of who you were what you wanted. And you thanked me afterward even though I offered you no tea. I did not want you to think you could stay.
I cannot remember when I started liking you, but your persistence somewhat started rubbing off on me. It was like I always knew you because I do not recall our first encounter. I just knew you and you, me, and said hi every time we met.
The first time I was at your place was the first time we talked.
You had two roommates then, and when it was time to leave, you complimented me. I still smile when I think about it now. Do you remember the comment you made? It turned me on, still brings up some feelings in me now.
When I lost my keys that day and needed someone to break my lock, I thought of you first. I called, and you came. I was tipsy. So I was talking a lot like I do when I am inebriated. You loved it. You told me that you thought I spoke very little.
The lock did not break, it was dark, and we were tired. So you walked me back. But we passed by your place first. You told me to sleep at yours, but I refused. I said I would sleep with M because she loved me. Then you said you loved me too.
Your place was always buzzing with people.
I love that about your aura, always attracting people, and you said that was how you were. You knelt and untied my shoes in front of your friends that day. I did not think about it much, but I remember looking down at you, holding your shoulder. That day, I would have had you right there and then.
We got my house open the next day, and you promised to take me to the lake, but I was too tired to go the following morning. You then came in the afternoon with cake and juice. It was the first time you were at the place that I wanted you to stay.
I was confused that weekend, I told M that I loved you, but I was afraid.
Looking back, I said that, and we were not even dating. You came over Tuesday night for supper, I wanted to say thanks for breaking my lock, but I knew that day we would make love. I just knew it from that morning and was anticipating it.
You loved the food, and I agreed on you to stay over. The lights had gone, so we lit a torch, but I made sure to take my top off when you could see me. You asked if I had a boyfriend, and I thought that was the best question. You said I was beautiful, and you wanted me to be with you.
I said I wanted one last relationship. I did not want to date again.
It was abrupt, but you kissed me immediately, and that was that. You told me later that you knew too that that day we would have sex. You were going to initiate it till I did. There was no way you knew this then, but I was not going to resist you. I was already into you, and it was a beautiful night.
Oh, how those two months filled with loving energy I cherished.
We saw each other too often. You swept me off my feet. Do you remember? When you asked me what I wanted, I told you to carry me on your shoulder, and you did. Your smile, I cannot wipe it off my mind.
I can feel your happiness from that smile, and it makes me cry a little bit.
When P and I came to your place, and you cooked porridge for us, I marveled. And when that drop went on my left foot, you took a serviette and gently wiped it. Then when we could not find the wine we wanted and had to walk around town searching for the best shop you told us not to worry. You stayed with us till we got home.
We had a rough couple of months after that.
I got pregnant, and you said I could lean on you. But you lost someone close to you, and it affected you greatly. We were also in different towns, and I accused you of not talking to me. I was going through a hard time with that pregnancy.
There was a divide.
When I came back to graduate, we had a row. I called you afterward said it was not a necessity for you to be with me. I would be okay alone with the baby and hung up. But you called a day after, and we made up.
You were not there when I gave birth, and it still hurts me even though I know it was not your fault.
I never told you the real story about that day, not told anyone else anyway, but it was not pretty. That first week after birth was torture. The postpartum pain and psychological warfare I was going through was hell. I have not yet been able to write about it. Every time I try, I feel I am back there.
I want us to live together now. It is time. I need you, the kids too, and your distance as much as you work hurts us.
All the problems that we have had along the years, all we have been through, brought us here now.
I still love you, want and think about you. I cannot explain it. We have grown from who we were. Every time I think we break, we come back better and stronger. That is the only way we can grow.
I don’t like them much, but those breaks allow us to adapt to the people we become and grow. The old bonds also need to become new if we are to move together.
I have learned so much about myself being with you. I have grown into who I am. Your presence in my life is monumental.
I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I believe it has great things. We are blessed and are loved.
So here’s to you, love of my life. I love you.