So many times, when we think about forgiveness, we do so in the lines of those who’ve wronged us. Usually, we agonize over the pain that was caused to us by others. Then, we deliberate whether or not it is worthy to forgive them. Sometimes, we choose to let go of and heal from what happened. Other times, we decide it’s best to cut ties with the responsible parties yet still let go of the experience. However, many times, we hold on to those moments of sadness and relive them through the years. We forget that we also need to forgive ourselves for what we’ve done to wrong us.
We all relate to this. The famous verse that gets quoted to us, ” Forgive and forget”, you’ve heard it, haven’t you? Well, I have and I wonder is forgetting really a conscious decision? Does it really happen because we decide it should or it it something that happens subcounsioulsly? Of all them times I have forgotten, I really did not choose to do it, it just happened. We do not forget really, rather we work on actively pushing those thoughts away from our minds. For the most fortunate of us, we actually do forget.
What’s the worst thing you’ve done to yourself?
I’ve done a couple things to myself that were not right. You have too, we all have. It’s more than a couple anyway; that drink you shouldn’t have taken, that man you shouldn’t have talked to, that lie you shouldn’t have told. Personally, what I beat myself about to the most is having sex with an irresponsible man. Consequently, I got pregnant, irresponsible man turned into an irresponsible father and that makes me feel like I ruined half of my daughter’s life already.
I get really sad when I think about it. I should have stayed away, taken those e-pills early, focused on myself more. None of this changes things, I know this, but I blame myself so much for it.
What have you done to yourself that takes the cake?
I know, I know, I should be writing this to me too. Have I forgiven myself? Honestly, it comes and goes. I have forgiven other people, you have too. Why is it hard to extend that same kindness to ourselves? Is it because we are with us all the time hence its easier to remember? Whatever the case, remember there is you too. You condemn yourself a number of times, cry over decisions you’ve made, that’s okay.
I’m sorry me, I forgive me
Remember to forgive yourself too, it might just what you need to move on to the next phase of your life.