General Solitude

Me, me, me. You, you, you.

So, I shaved my head. I did it myself if you can believe that. Started with scissors and ended the whole thing with a razor, some soap. This is something I had vowed never to do. I wasn’t going to be walking around with the Micheal Jordan haircut. If you meet me in town, and ask me what happened, I’ll tell you I needed my hair to grow well, but truth told, I did this because I’m starting my life afresh. This one’s not about my hair though, it’s about me or you.

I love to give and I pour myself into whatever or whomever I think needs me. This has left me empty at times and running on fumes. Upon recent events (single for good now; a story for another day), I have discovered that I left myself behind. I’ve been preoccupied with fixing, mending, being there for others that I’ve been pushing myself aside. This dawned on me when I removed everything and everyone else from my life for a second and found out that I was nothing, had nothing and had stopped being there for myself.

This realization made me feel empty and crumbled but in the end, I’m to blame. In the end, I chose this path, I veered off my course and saw myself in the rear-view mirror. So now, I’m getting back to me. Finding out who I am again, loving myself again, forgiving myself again and putting myself first again.

I choose me now. It is what I have, what I give myself that I offer to the world and to the ones I love. It feels good being in control. I choose to reinvent myself, to grow myself, to feed myself because that is what translates to my relationship with other people. I choose me now, I’ll choose me again; that’s who it will always be. My joy is within, my peace within and everything that I give to others and the world comes from within.

So choose you, you’re your kind of person in this world.

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