We Are Responsible For What We Feel

You make me feel happy, you make me feel sad, you made me angry, you made me feel annoyed; are these really true? All these statements, common utterances among us have you as the subject of the verb feel. Simply feelings are brought about by the other person. I totally disagree with these statements; we give ourselves the feelings we have. Within us, we have the power and ability to feel what we feel and control how we feel despite the actions of others. Happiness, joy, anger are within our control and are consequences of our own selves. However we feel is determined by our thoughts, how we expect ourselves to feel in any situation and what we’ve been conditioned to feel by our own training of thoughts.

Whatever anyone does to us, the result; our feelings are not their responsibility or fault. We find it easier to blame other people or state them as the consequence of our feeling because it is easier and accusing them absolves us. The actions of others towards us are what are classified as kind, generous, malicious or vengeful but what we feel thereafter is on us. Pointing fingers at others removes the blame from us and excuses our actions by faulting those we’re accusing of for our feelings. We learn the above mentioned statements early on in life and carry it to our adulthood thinking that our feelings are held in the hands of others.

Take a scenario, three woman are taking an afternoon stroll; a man approaches them and tells them they are all ugly. Ordinarily, we expect different reactions from all those 3 women or at least 2. Woman 1 may shrug and dismiss the comment; feels indifferent toward it, woman 2 may feel sad or depressed about the comment and the last woman may start feeling anxious and restless. Were it the man causing these woman to feel what they do, wouldn’t all the 3 women experience similar feelings. Each woman felt what they felt because that is what they’ve conditioned themselves to feel after such an experience and also what they allow themselves to feel afterwards. Besides, if all women felt the same feeling say sadness, they would each experience it at different degrees.

One of the causes of experiencing what we feel is the knowledge we have. How we know ourselves, who we know we are and what we know we can accomplish creates and influences our feelings towards certain people, places and experiences. We are able within us to guide our feelings in the direction we want them to move by tapping into our knowledge well. We need to know that it is our responsibility and no one else’s to undergo emotional state we are in. Consequently, we cannot be able to make someone feel something; they feel what they do entirely on their own. We should learn to take responsibility for what we feel day. Be in control, it is within your power

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