I have few friends and each different in their own way. We don’t usually talk about the same things when I’m with each one of them but catching up is one of the main things we touch on. Sometimes, I end up learning one or few things that’s been happening in their lives, sometimes a lot and other times nothing at all. It occurs that now and again I learn about an occurrence in their lives that happened a while ago and the first question that comes to mind is always why I wasn’t told as soon as it happened or early on. Well, I’ve come to learn that at the end of the day I don’t really need to know everything.
I’ve had moments in my life where I didn’t feel I could confide in anyone. This happened not because I felt they would expose me, fail to understand me or even shun me away, It was a time where I needed to be alone. Part of being alone comes with keeping some experiences of my life to me, to deal with them as I see fit or even to go through the process on my own. Lots of people need to do this and do it for whatever reasons they may have.
Occasionally if not often, we take offense when we find out some information in our loved one’s life that happened to them for a long time and we were not privy to at that point. We shouldn’t be angry though, we really don’t need to know everything. For starters, people share this part of their lives when they are ready to, when they feel comfortable doing so and when they think it’s the best time to do so, otherwise whatever happens in their life is their own business. Secondly, you cannot know every single thing that happens in someone’s life; it’s not possible to. So, when they do disclose, be content that they did and don’t pester them for not telling you about it earlier.
This doesn’t mean for major experiences but also for the ones we may think are minute. They may be to you but to someone else be something totally different. These minute experiences may be hidden too and they don’t warrant ridicule either. Let your friends tell you what they need to tell you at their own time. It may also be something you cannot do anything about and anyway most times than not, won’t benefit you in any way.
Personally, I have come to appreciate being made privy to my loved ones’ personal endeavors. It’s not my right to know and when I do I’m glad that he or she was comfortable enough to let me in. Needing to know and feeling like I should be told, is something that I am still learning to let go. I’m not entitled; it’s not my right but rather my privilege. So, the next time you learn about something you think was your place to know well before, remember, you don’t need to know everything.